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ManiaXMania

by Fairies! No Mercenaries

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penn's woods
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1.
Prologue 04:32
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"Distance." Like a speckle in the wind heading directions to "Mondus Nuvus" They left their world behind. How could they know? That through terrifying terrain filled with the abstract and the strange. Catastrophic by nature-it wasn't leaving but running away. Could I ever be so wrong? Is there but a thousand songs that I have to sing so I can find some sense of peace. Fade me, smoke me 'till I'm hazy. I get stronger from my fix. If you were me you would go crazy. But it's not a spectacle or example of cowardice it's not running away out of fear. Just in life we have stories and they could always be boring if you stay right here. To the boots degraded by laces not because they're walked but because they're so wasted. Cash upon cash couldn't prepare you for what's before you. So I keep my clothes and my rocks from people from far away because each word and thing that I write was given to me. Could I ever be so wrong? Is there but a thousand songs that I have to sing so I can find some sense of peace. Fade me, smoke me 'till I'm hazy. I get stronger from my fix. If you were me you would go crazy.
2.
Act I - "The Forest" 00:42
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3.
Blues Queen 02:34
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I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. Say, you've got attitude. But really, you're just rude. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. Baby, you better get some water 'cause we're gonna burn this roof Down. Give us a sword and we'll sit like kings. Royalty don't mean shit to me. When you sing the blues but don't know how to ever take it back. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. I'm making fire, fire, fires with the way that I walk. Baby, you better get some water 'cause we're gonna burn this roof Down.
4.
Roxas 03:44
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I'm scared of the things in my room. They haunt me but they don't haunt you. You've gotta' have an "x" in your name or an "x" on your face for them to despise you. I'm fading, I'm fading from using too many metaphors. I'm fading, I'm fading and using too many metaphors. It's 'cause I'm a nobody, a nobody, a nobody in a heartless- Nobody a nobody a nobody in a heartless- Nobody a nobody a nobody in a heartless A nobody a nobody a nobody in a heartless world. I'm weird to the things in my room. I haunt them with the bitter truth. You've gotta' have a thing to say, "existentialism" place. Hide your Nihilistic Values too. I'm fading, I'm fading, I'm fading from knowing the truth. We're hurting, we're hurting the more we find out about the truth. That we're nobodies, nobodies, nobodies in a heartless- Nobodies, nobodies, nobodies in a heartless- Nobodies, nobodies, nobodies in a heartless- Nobodies, nobodies, nobodies in a heartless world. I'm scared of the thing in my room. They haunt me but they don't haunt you. You've gotta' have an "x" in your name or an "x" on your face for them to despise you. It's cause I'm a nobody, a nobody, a nobody in a heartless- Nobody, a nobody, a nobody in a heartless- Nobody, nobody, nobody in a heartless- Nobody, nobody, a nobody in a heartless world.
5.
Joker (The Breakdown) 03:43
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Upon a most recent discovery of a petroleum recovery- Did anyone ponder on conciliating hearts? As suspected, it's quite expensive to have dreams that are affected by the ways that you've been tested to disguise your heart. Crucify the crucible that I have built monuments of and fortify your towers with calculated bombs. The captain is destined to go down with the ship if they can't "catharsize." Succeed I will at showing you that sensitivity is strong, cause everybody knows the dearest part of every tunes are- The Breakdowns. The Breakdowns. But patience child, there's no need to rush. The harshest of emotions have a hush, hush, hush. It's easy for the empathetic to see all the fragility in your movements. Don't you realize that through constant insecurities to "cementize" gaps in a fragile mentality that you're building up a pressure in a bomb. And it's destined to explode eventually. Or you could just us in this movement of receptive sensitivity and do your part and.. Breakdown. Breakdown. Normalize the men that cry-tough is over rated. And roll up your sleeves no matter who you are if you want to. The time you've spent building walls to be stronger could be spent building up your empathetic muscles. Normalize the men that cry-tough is over rated. And roll up your sleeves no matter who you are if you have to. The time you've spent building walls to be stronger could be spent building up your empathetic muscles.
6.
Depersonalization 04:03
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If you could make something out of me. Sometimes, I'm afraid of my own anatomy. So if this water gets deeper and I use your ship to swim please don't call me the enemy. I'm afraid of what you'll think of me cause I'm not sure if I can even see. The mirror's got some reflections that I'm barely even smudging, I look pale. I look pale. Give me answers, Does anyone have them? Is it somewhere in a bottle? Is it hidden in a book? Do I need a secret password? Just tell me where to look. Oh.... Have you seen where I used to be? There's a clear dichotomy. Cause I'm only getting older, I don't have enough time to be where I'm not supposed to be. So when I'm taking acid on the beach I'll just hope that it'll last for me. Because I'm only getting older, I don't have enough time to not be where I wanna' be. Give me answers, Does anyone have them? Is it somewhere in a bottle? Is it hidden in a book? Do I need a secret password? Just tell me where to look. Oh... Give me answers, Does anyone have them? Is it somewhere in a bottle? Is it hidden in a book? Do I need a secret password? Just tell me where to look. Give me answers, Does anyone have them? Is it somewhere in a bottle? Is it hidden in a book? Do I need a secret password? Just tell me where to look.
7.
Act II - "The Sea" (TW) 02:04
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8.
Maine 03:55
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Maine froze over. My calluses caved in half of my body Spring came over covered in dying things. Like the half of my body. I am tired, I am cold. I've grown tired. There's no where left to go. I am tired, I am cold. I've grown tired. There's no where left to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go...
9.
Crossroads (Dextromethorphan) (TW) 02:52
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"Meds" after shows, drinks upon drinks, they're not as hard to get as one might think. When life is a prison you'll look for some things and one would take anything as temporary keys. Strapped into seats in the back of a car, hours of driving, hours too long. My mind is racing but I know no where will change where I will go. I'm strapped into walls, careful my mind goes just as one call. Sticks in my arms to form sigils out of blood. Comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary, comfort is necessary. When you run out of portions of soul to give to the "Devil" will you sell to "God?" When you run out of portions of souls to sell to the "Devil" can you still sell to "God?"
10.
I Don't Deserve Your Heart 05:27
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You know I've tried to fall in love right but only I fight, don't know why I fight. When I know, I know, I know, I know That you will slip like sand right out the palm of my hands 'cause all these plans of my own heart's expedition. If my depression is consistent, how can I love anything if I can't even love myself? Yes love, I don't deserve your-Yes love, I don't deserve your- Yes love, I don't deserve your heart. You know I tried to see if you're alright-you shouldn't have to be alone because I am. When I know, I know, I know, I know That the pain from you loving me is enough to drive you crazy. You just want the person I used to be but, I'm too broken to be me. How can I love anything if I can't even love myself? Yes love, I don't deserve your-Yes love, I don't deserve your- Yes love, I don't deserve your heart. Yes love, I don't deserve your-Yes love, I don't deserve your- Yes love, I don't deserve your heart. (I'll let you go because I'm fragile, I'll let you go because I'm not strong, I don't want you to hurt I rather not fall at all. So take away the empty-I'm lonely but when you reach your threshold there's no saving, just accepting and I have. I'm a monster, a vampire, a leech to people who care because I'm a lost cause. A dragon of wishes eating its own fire and I'll be alone until I can breathe it.) Yes love, I don't deserve your-Yes love, I don't deserve your- Yes love, I don't deserve your heart. Yes love, I don't deserve your-Yes love, I don't deserve your- Yes love, I don't deserve your heart.
11.
Dancing Silhouette 04:10
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Dancing silhouette in the back of my mind Over again just to pass the time. And I can't past this point of line so you clip back to the start. Ballerina, ballerina, may I participate with your steps? I can't follow your steps. 'cause I'm still mesmerized by repetition of staccato. Grab me and bring me to the river. We hold our heads under the water. And together we breathe, together we breathe. Baptized in blood and lips we speak. Dancing silhouette, I know I've lost my hopes. But if you tell me one more thing, don't you know that? Everything you are I want to be-untouchable by human means... We can dance on fire, we can dance on ice, We can dance so heavy, we can dance light.
12.
Noose (TW) 04:04
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My body is becoming decayed from all the shit that I have put it through. My mind is going to waste-I'm not sure what it was supposed to even be. And I don't want to be alone when I cross out of this world. I know it's a blessing to feel things, but I don't want to feel again. My body is growing decayed from all the shit that I've been walking through. My mind is becoming a maze that I can't handle at best-I know it's not right to wish for all these things to end, but calling for help won't mean it's over. So I grab the nearest cloth and tie it around my throat for the first time, not the last time, wish it were. If I could never hit the floor, it just takes one jump to not feel what I felt before.
13.
September 20th 04:17
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Make this fight worth fighting. Take each breathe slowly. Break the cycles early. And stay awake.
14.
Epilogue - "The Night Time Phoenix" 02:31
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about

**When I made this I think I was dissociating & hallucinating hella. I thought everyone around me was talking about me in hospitals behind my back and I was hearing things that weren't there. Shortly after while tripping I heard the album and nothing was on time and while mixing it myself, I learned it sounded the way I wanted to but the way I wanted it to was not reality. I was embarassed about it and hid it then and went into trying for another 3 years after to work with others on mixing but I'm bad at that too.

Putting this back up regardless a bit because of passive nihilism but also to make everything i have available and hope the parts of me worth anything land in the right places where they can shine instead of die in vain.

~~~

(TW - Depression, Suicide.)

A 15 track album describing an imaginative, synesthesia-inspired landscape. The emotions being traveled as though they were maps, lands and roads. Take a comfortable seat, relax and let yourself wander through & enjoy the ride.

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released April 20, 2016

Recorded, Mixed & Produced at "Olive."

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Fairies! No Mercenaries Los Angeles, California

music video for Swansong available on youtube!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqzB1CIi67I

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Alternative music from Los Angeles.

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